


Our souls touching

by Deanpala



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: (kind of? It’s a daemon doing it), Alternate Universe - Daemons, Daemon Separation, Daemon Touching, Dissociation, M/M, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 06:01:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30050994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deanpala/pseuds/Deanpala
Summary: Just because it’s you soul, doesn’t mean you understand it
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/ Jonathan “Jon” Sims | The Archivist
Kudos: 43





	Our souls touching

**Author's Note:**

> I chose a kestrel for Jon bc the daemon website said and I quote “it takes a lot of courage to be the scapegoat” and also said those with a kestrel want what’s best for the world and are impulsive.
> 
> Martin’s a hare bc theyre prey but also low key scary

People with daemons like his are born anxious they say, are supposed to be like this.

Through the two weeks he was stuck in his flat, Martin held his hare daemon close to his chest, and felt his heart beat at a frantic pace along with his.

When he told Jon the whole story, Kentir anxiously and frustratingly shifting, he doesn’t think anything will come of it.

The entire time he speaks, Jons Kestrel is staring at him intensely. She always does things like that, and isn’t one much for conversation. It always makes him feel a little like she’s looking at him like prey, which is silly because she’s smaller than Kentir, but still.

Point being, he certainly doesn’t expect Anfi to fly down and brush by Kentirs head, and then pretend she never did it.

Jon blushes at her action, and then studiously ignores it, telling them they can stay in the archives.

And they’re greatful for it, really they are.

Still, as Martin lays on the cot, far away from Prentiss, he swears he hears singing, and holds Kentir to his chest, desperately wishing for their hearts to slow.

“It’s her,” he says “it’s her.”

“It isn’t,” he says back fiercely.

Still, his hands wrap tighter around his chest.  
—————————

Most people’s Daemons settle only the once, and most people’s Daemons are different enough they don’t match their families.

There’s a few years between Tim and Danny, but theirs matched, twin butterflies.

Years after his death, he jokes with Martin over the fact Sedrivax is a hunting dog.

As she snarls at Grimaldi, hackles raised, (she hasn’t actually spoken in so long) he tries to pretend he doesn’t regret how much they’ve changed, how much he misses the feeling of fluttering on his cheeks rather than his own teeth gnashing together in his anger.  
——————————

When Martin was 10, Kentir settled.

Mom yelled at them, demanded he change, but they CAN’T and they cried as she yelled at them, cried as her daemon hissed.

He laid in bed that night and lied, told Kentir it wasn’t his fault.

And as Elias berms the knowledge into his head, and he’s forced to remember his father and his daemon, and he understands.

Rabbits are flighty, at least his father was, and while theres a big difference between rabbits and hares, it’s easy to miss.  
——————————

Jon is reserved. He wasn’t always, as a child he was curious and open, and Anfi would constantly ask and comment things, things that they didn’t know they weren’t supposed to, that were inappropriate.

Eventually, she learns how to keep her beak shut, that no one cares about their questions.

They have difficulty talking to each other. You wouldn’t think a soul and their human would, but they do, they don’t understand each other well.

When Jon wakes up from his coma, things change. He never thought that she was suited for him, that he wasn’t a predator, but well.....

She starts circling through the skies, hovering, watching, and the false eyes on the back of her head start staring.

They’re both closed and further than they’ve ever been. Jon keeps Anfi on his lap, and they talk, try and figure themselves out.

“I miss Kentir,” she says, “I’m starving,” she says “I think there’s something wrong with us,” she says.

It’s all true, but he wishes she wouldn’t say it.

She starts pecking at him, nipping him, and she starts plucking at her feathers.

Jon doesn’t let this change anything. He lets Anfi bite him, and tries to smooth her feathers, keep her from plucking her own as she starts taking it out on the hands stopping her.

When he goes into the buried, he leaves her outside the coffin, and he still gets the ribs removed. They’ve never had a strong connection anyway.  
———————-

Kentir changes after Jon dies. He stays a hare of course, but he grows fierce. He is prey yes, but his legs are made for kicking, and his teeth are long and sharp.

When Peter shows up, he doesn’t hide anymore, just hunches. Peter takes this as a sign of fear, that he’s ready to bolt, but that isn’t it. He’s prepared to launch himself at anyone who tries to hurt them.

Lukas doesn’t have a daemon, or at the very least, has banished it into the lonely.

Martin has almost entirely stopped talking to Kentir, and when he is sent into the lonely, he is sent there on his own, leaving Kentir behind.  
——————————

Martin clings right to Jon after they leave the lonely.

“Do you think he’s okay?”

“I don’t- probably. He’s always been tough.”

“He wasn’t there when we got out, he- I didn’t treat him right.”

“Our fault,” Anfi whispers in Jons ear “our fault.”

She’s right, but this isn’t the time for it.

He gets an idea though, and it seems Anfi has the same one as she hops down onto Martins lap.

His hands are shaking as he reaches out and brushes gently against her feathers.

“I’m here for you, while we wait for him” she says.

He rests a hand on her back reverently, squeezes Jons hand, and cries.  
—————————

“I feel like everyone’s staring at me whenever we go out,” Martin absently tells him one day as they cuddle on the couch “like they know I don’t have a daemon.”

“I doubt it, plenty of people have small ones that hide out of sight.”

“Even if they do,” Anfi adds “severing isn’t unheard of, they should mind their own business-“

“Anfi,” Jon says harshly “shhh. He isn’t- they aren’t severed.”

“Aren’t we?” Martin asks. “Wherever he is is far enough away for it and I can’t-“ his voice cracks “I can’t feel him anymore. Did I ever tell you we thought about it as kids?”

“What?” Anfi squawks “how could- that’s horrible! Why?”

“We were poor, mum never liked Kentir, and we felt it might be a good way to- well. We’d be doing something good at least, if we went with the daemon trade. We could never do it though, too scared, too attached. And now he’s gone anyway.”

“I’m sorry, that sounds terrible” Jon says softly.

“Yeah. Me too.”  
———————————

Jons awoken by Anfi pulling on their bond, and quickly gets up to follow her. He doesn’t know where she’s going, but he figures she has good reason for it.

He almost cries when he sees what she’s going for.

It’s Kentir.

“MARTIN! MARTIN, GET OUT HERE!”

They play, Anfi flying excitedly over his head, and Kentir jumping up, until she swoops down and lands on his back, happily grooming him.

Jon turns to look at Martin, who’s smiling so brightly, but shaking in place, not moving.

“Well? Aren’t you going to greet him?”

“I’m-“ he looks like a deer in headlights at the question “yeah, of course.”

He runs out, and kneels in front of Kentir.

“Can I-“

And he jumps right into his arms, as if nothing has changed.  
————————

Things aren’t magically fixed after that. 

Every once and awhile Anfi will get Jon, and tell him Kentir won’t speak, won’t move, and in those days Martin is... vague. Quiet. He does things robotically and smiles weakly, saying he’s fine in a hollow voice.

Sometimes it goes away on its own, and Kentir will act like nothing happened. Others, it takes the careful attention of Jon and Anfi to get Martin to break, and he’ll start crying and apologizing for being like this as Kentir bolts like somethings after them from room to room.

After one such time, he gently hands him to Jon, and it’s different all the sudden. The cold is still there of course, the emptiness, but it’s far less, and he’s filled with warmth, and love, and it’s like nothing he’s ever experienced before.

“You guys said until he came back she’d be here for me. I’m- we’ve been yours for a long time and, and I clearly have difficulty taking care of him sometimes so....”

It doesn’t always work. Sometime, the gentle touch and warmth isn’t enough to wake Kentir up, to snap Martin out of it.

But sometimes, it does, and sometimes, it is enough to simply be reminded that he’s here, that he has a soul.


End file.
